beep-beep-beep-ba-deep-beep-beep-beep-ba-deep-beep-beep…Ladies and gentlemen, this word just in.
Geologists around the globe are stunned at a massive disturbance in the earth’s crust measuring an incredible 9.8 on the Richter scale, recorded in the Puget Sound area of Washington State.
“It just came out of nowhere!” stated a shaken Dr. D. R. K. Crevasse, chief textile geologist at the Institute of Earth-Shattering Textile Development and Study, as he wiped another bead of perspiration from his brow.
Dr. Merry Stitches, Director of Mechanical Engineering at the Institute, shook her head as she escorted Dr. Crevasse to a nearby chair. “We never expected to see a Development like this. It’s really rather exciting” she said, “assuming, of course, there’s no associated loss of life.”
Further investigation has revealed the source of the disturbance as originating at the residence of one Lady Constance, a local so-called “period costumer” of questionable noble descent. “There were only three boxes left!” she cried, wiping tears of joy from her eyes. “I couldn’t believe it when I found it…the power cord, I mean. I never thought…I mean, only three…you see, I have this deadline…oh, dear!”
Paramedics rushed to the stricken woman as she collapsed to the ground, calling out to a “Jennifer” who remains unidentified at this time.
Tidal wave warnings have been issued for Hawaii, Japan, Guam, greater Polynesia, and the Aleutian and Kamchatka peninsulas. Updates at 11.